I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
