This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
