Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
