Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
