yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
