Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
