Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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