I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
