i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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