so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
