My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
