what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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