Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
