whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
