I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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