porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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