Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Sober January is a disaster.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
