I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize