Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
