He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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