yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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