Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
