he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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