hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
