the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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