You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
