Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
