is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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