why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
