I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
