operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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