the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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