peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
