If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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