Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
