I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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