I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
