i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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