About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
