No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
