my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
