Yo dont text me then not text me
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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