If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
