was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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