no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
