Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
