Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
