It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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