just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
