I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
