I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize