Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
