I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Someone shit on the floor
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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