worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
