goodnight i made you a song goodbye
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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