I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I understand Curling. That high.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
