I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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