Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
