I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
