any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Is it penis luge time yet?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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