God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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